Quick answer: An elf goodbye letter is the note your elf leaves on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, thanking your child, praising something real from December, and promising to return next year. Copy one of the three ready letters below, swap in your child's name and your elf's name, and leave it beside the elf with a treat.
Why the goodbye letter matters
The arrival letter opens the magic. The goodbye letter closes it with care. Without a goodbye, the elf simply vanishes one morning, and children notice. They check the old hiding spots. They ask where the elf went. A short letter answers those questions before they are asked, and it turns the ending into a happy memory instead of a confusing one.
The goodbye letter also does something the daily scenes cannot do. It speaks directly to your child about your child. It names one real thing they did in December — a kind act, a joke they told, a morning they were brave. Children remember being noticed. Years later, they may forget where the elf hid on the twelfth of December, but they will remember a letter that said they were kind.
Keep the letter short. A goodbye that runs too long loses small readers halfway through. Four to eight sentences is plenty. Warm, specific, and done. The three letters below follow that rule, and each one is ready to copy by hand onto a card or a piece of paper.
Letter one: the sweet and heartfelt goodbye
This is the letter for children who love the elf deeply and will feel the goodbye most. It is gentle, warm, and full of praise. Read it aloud together on Christmas morning if your child likes that ritual.
Dear Emma,
Thank you for the best December ever. I loved waking up in your home every morning and seeing your smile when you found me. You were so kind this month. I saw you share your toys, help your little brother, and say thank you without being asked. That kindness is the real Christmas magic, and it made Santa very proud. Now I must fly back to the North Pole to help Santa for the big night. I will miss you, but I promise I will come back next December. Merry Christmas, my dear friend.
Love, Jingle
To make it yours, swap Emma for your child's name and Jingle for your elf's name. Then add one real detail from your own December. If your child learned to ride a bike, helped bake cookies, or comforted a friend, name it in place of the examples above. One true detail makes the whole letter feel personal, because it is.
Letter two: the funny goodbye
Some children cope with sad goodbyes better when the letter makes them laugh. This one keeps the warmth but adds the elf's cheeky voice. It works best for children who love the elf's jokes and silly scenes.
Dear Max,
Well, it is time for me to fly home, and my suitcase is already packed. It contains three socks, one biscuit crumb, and a drawing you made that I am definitely not supposed to have. Thank you for a brilliant December. You found me every single morning, even when I hid inside the cereal box, which was honestly rude of me. I have told Santa you were wonderful this year, especially when you helped set the table without being asked. Now I must go and help load the sleigh. Do not worry, I will be back next year, probably hiding somewhere even sillier.
Merry Christmas, you legend.
Your elf, Sprinkles
The humour here does a real job. It gives children something to laugh about at the exact moment they might feel sad, and it gives them a funny line to repeat to grandparents. If your elf has a running joke from the month — a favourite hiding spot, a food it kept stealing — swap it in for the cereal box line. The letter will land even better.
Letter three: the short goodbye for busy Christmas mornings
Christmas morning is busy. Presents are being opened, breakfast is cooking, and relatives may already be on their way. This letter says everything in a few lines, for parents who need the goodbye done in one minute flat.
Dear Lily,
Merry Christmas! Thank you for a wonderful December. You were kind, funny, and brave, and Santa knows it. I must fly home now, but I will be back next December. I cannot wait to see you again.
Love, Twinkle
Short does not mean cold. This letter still thanks the child, still names good qualities, and still promises a return. Those three things are the whole job of a goodbye letter. If you have thirty seconds more, add one sentence about something real your child did this month, and the short letter becomes a personal one.
When to leave the goodbye letter
You have two good choices, and both work. Pick the one that fits your family's Christmas rhythm.
Leave it on Christmas Eve night, beside the elf, so children find it on Christmas morning with their presents. This is the classic choice. The elf is gone, the letter explains why, and the morning still feels magical because the letter is there. It also gives you a quiet moment on Christmas Eve to place the letter without rushing.
Or leave it on Christmas morning itself, tucked under the tree or beside the stockings, for children to find as presents are opened. This works well if your elf tradition runs right up to Christmas morning, or if you forgot the letter on Christmas Eve. There is no wrong choice here. What matters is that the letter is found on a morning that already feels special, so the goodbye sits inside a happy day rather than a sad one.
One timing tip: do not leave the goodbye letter early. If the elf still has days of visits left, a goodbye letter confuses children. The letter marks the end of the visits, so it belongs on the last night or the last morning only.
What to leave with the letter
A letter on its own is enough. But a small extra touch makes the goodbye feel like a gift rather than a farewell. Keep it simple, because Christmas morning already has plenty.
Do not leave a present from the elf. Christmas morning already brings presents, and an elf gift can confuse who gave what. The letter plus one small touch is the right size for a goodbye.
- A candy cane leaning against the letter, or a small chocolate beside it.
- A tiny drawing from the elf, even a stick figure of the elf waving from a sleigh.
- A sprinkle of glitter on the table where the elf sat, as a sign of the elf's magic leaving.
- The elf's hat or a small accessory, left behind "by accident" for the child to keep until next year.
- A promise written at the end of the letter, such as a note that the elf will write again next December.
What to say if children are sad
Some children will be sad, and that is normal. It means the tradition worked. Do not rush past the sadness or pretend it does not matter. Acknowledge it plainly, then point to what comes next.
Try something like this: "It is sad to say goodbye, isn't it? The elf loved being here, and that is why it wrote you such a kind letter. And remember, the elf comes back every December, so this is see you later, not goodbye forever." Then read the letter together again, slowly, and let your child keep it somewhere safe.
If your child asks why the elf has to leave, keep the answer inside the story: the elf must help Santa at the North Pole, and it needs its magic back for the long journey. If your child asks whether the elf will remember them, say yes, and point to the letter as proof. The letter says so, in the elf's own words.
Older children may ask harder questions about how the elf works. You do not need to answer everything on Christmas morning. You can say, "The magic works best when we enjoy it together," and let the conversation wait for a quieter day. The goodbye letter has already done the important work: it thanked them, praised them, and promised a return.
The last three nights: a gentle countdown to goodbye
A goodbye lands more softly when children can feel it coming. You do not need a big announcement, and you certainly do not need tears at breakfast on Christmas morning. Three small signals across the last three nights do the work quietly, so Christmas Eve feels like the end of a story rather than a sudden disappearance.
This slow wind-down helps you, too. By the time the goodbye letter itself is due, you have already written two short notes in the same voice, so the letter is far easier to write. If you want wording to borrow for those in-between nights, our Elf on the Shelf Notes Printable guide includes countdown messages written for exactly this final week.
- Three nights before: the elf leaves a looking-back note instead of a joke. "I have loved my hiding spots this year. The teapot was my favourite. Which one was yours?" A question like this starts the remembering while there is still time to enjoy it together.
- Two nights before: the elf sits somewhere close to the heart of Christmas — beside the stockings, or on the branch nearest the fairy lights — with a short note: "Two more sleeps of hide and seek. Make them good ones, finder."
- The last night: no note at all, just the elf in its best spot, looking its smartest. The quiet is the signal. Tomorrow there will be a letter instead of a hiding game, and children who have had two nights of build-up meet it with excitement as much as sadness.
Letter four: when the elf has to leave early
Not every elf can stay until Christmas Eve. Sometimes Santa calls an elf back a few nights early to help with the busiest wrapping nights of the year — and sometimes, if truth be told, a family spending Christmas morning in another house simply needs the season to end a little sooner at home. An early goodbye works perfectly well, as long as the letter explains it inside the story, so children hear a plan, not a problem.
Dear Noah,
I have a little adventure of my own to tell you about. Santa needs me back at the North Pole a few nights early this year, to help wrap presents for children whose homes I pass on my flight home. Thank you for a wonderful December — especially for the morning you found me in the fruit bowl and laughed so hard you had to sit down. I will be thinking of you on Christmas morning, wherever you wake up. And next December, look for me first thing. I will be back, I promise.
Love, Biscuit
Swap in your own names and one true moment, exactly as with the other letters on this page. If the elf is leaving early because the family will be away, one extra line helps: "I will fly over the house where you are staying on Christmas Eve and wave, even if you cannot see me." Children sleeping in an unfamiliar room on Christmas Eve like knowing the elf knows where they are. And when next year comes, the arrival that starts it all is covered in our Elf on the Shelf Arrival Letter guide, if you want the pair of letters to share the same voice.
After Christmas: what to do with the letter in January
In the first week of January, children often ask to hear the letter again. Keep it somewhere findable — in a memory box, at the back of the Christmas decoration box, or photographed on your phone — rather than loose with the wrapping paper, where it will be recycled by accident during the big tidy-up. A child who knows where the letter lives stops worrying that the elf has been forgotten.
Answer January questions briefly and inside the story, the same way you did in December: the elf is busy at the North Pole, it remembers them, and it will be back. Then close the box and let Christmas end. There is no need to keep the game running all year — its power comes from belonging to December. When the next December comes round, the matching set of arrival letter, daily notes and this goodbye is described in our Elf on the Shelf Kit guide and gathered on our printables page, so the new season can start in the same voices it ended in.
Bookends: pairing the goodbye with the arrival letter
The arrival letter and the goodbye letter are a pair. The arrival letter opens December with excitement and a promise. The goodbye letter closes it with thanks and a promise to return. Together they frame the whole month, and children who keep both letters have a little story of their own December.
If you used an arrival letter this year, the goodbye letter will feel like the natural ending to it. If you did not, the goodbye letter still works on its own, and next year you can start with an arrival letter so the pair is complete. Keep both letters in a memory box or a folder with the year's Christmas cards. When children are older, finding those letters again is a gift in itself.
The letters on this page are written to be copied by hand, free, whenever you need them. If you would rather print a matching set, MerryHub's Elf Notes and Letters Pack on the printables page includes arrival and goodbye letters, 24 daily elf notes, and a report card in one matching design, and the Complete Christmas Bundle holds the same elf kit alongside the other Christmas printables.
To plan next December from its very first morning, start with our Elf on the Shelf Arrival Ideas guide — it gives the new season an opening scene as thoughtful as this goodbye was a closing one.
